The debate continues between vehicles insurers as to whether they will cover giraffes against whiplash. A giraffe at London zoo said last week, “It’s not fair, I’ve got a mate in Bristol zoo, and he managed to get covered, it’s neckism pure and simple.”
Baldness has been banned in Guatemala.
Navel news now… harbouring a grudge without owning a harbour will be taxed from midnight to night. The landlocked parts of England will be hardest hit, said a harbour master.
For the first time since 1749, lisps will be legalised in Wales today. The courts have tried to make lisps legal in the past, but due to the amount of sylvia produced by by the Welsh when they speak, the ink kept smudging on the paper leaving the terms of the court papers illedgable. However, since the invention of laminated paper, the ruling should be passed next week.
And due to pressure from the European Union, New Scotland Yard will forced to change its name. A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said, “It’s sad day for us, for years it was known as Great Scotland Yard, then Scotland Yard, now it’s going to be called New Scotland Metre, and all becuse we went metric!”
Raw plugs should be cooked, says a food analyst. The sausage company, Wall’s have already been fined for disregarding this new policy.
Osama bin Laden is alive and well and living in Cheltenham, said a reporter from The Daily Conspirator.
If CDs were square, you’d have to cut the corners off to get them in your player – fact
Local Sport now… All of the Enfield Narcoleptic’s11 were booked last Saturday for time wasting in a friendly against the Barnet Somnambulist. Their manager said last night, “I can’t believe this has happened agai….zzzzzzzzz zzz zzzzzzz.”
My sister has just bought a tap dancing tortoise – fact!
International news now… There’s in Cincinnati, Ohio called, Licking County – fact!
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