Just before I begin, has anyone seen Michael Jackson’s doctor?  Apparently he’s done the off!  Well hang on a minute, how many doctors did he have?  If you had that sort of cash flying about you’d have a spare one wouldn’t you?  Oh I can just see the headlines tomorrow.  Ooooh, so many more column inches to come chums… 

Well, the boys and girls of the Post Office are up against it, and it’s technology that is their greatest foe, that and the money grabbers above them.  I’ve been in the same situation back in the last recession when dear old Thatcher (spit, spit, spitty) was in power.  She, and some friends of hers, namely, Maxwell and Murdoch, got together to and devised a plan to smash up the print union and a few others besides.  She was in power, so all she had to do was push a few bills through and hey presto all of the unions power was taken away.  I could cheerfully slap everyone of them with a heavy object.  

And now it’s the turn of the postal workers, but more so on the technology front.  Back in the early days of the 70’s they must have believed they had a job for life and they did, but now they’re up against texts, email, Gmail and social websites some of which are free, a concept which is totally lost on ardent capitalists.  These are the boys that are on top of the pyramid and they only care about hard cashy-wonga – not people.  What they have to remember is, if they crush the grafters at the foundation of the pyramid who the fuck is going to hold them up?  The time will come, and I hope I’m there to witness it.  As an over view, let’s see where we are in say, 2012 – watch this space….   

Back in the day the penny black system covered nine or more collections a day, so maybe to spread the cost of deliveries that system should reintroduced, a sort of jobshare if you will.  So what could we do to update that?  Email?  Gmail?  Hmmm…, okay, it’ll be a little radical but I’m willing to give it ago…  Old people won’t be using a computer so there’s a constant source of income for the Royal Mail.  So there’s two options right there, Frail Mail, and Snail Mail.  It doesn’t matter what time it arrives they’ll be pleased that someone is thinking of them.  They could adopt the supermarket scheme and call it, BOGOF or Sale Mail.  Dale Mail will cover the countryside addresses and Air Mail will now be known as Dart Mail.  The sender will make a paper dart out of their correspondence and throw it to another person who lives near to the addressee.  All you’d have to do is form a link of users to enable your post to reach its destination.  Why, you could call it Chain Mail I suppose!  It will be aslower delivery obviously but it will greatly reduce the carbon footprint of the Royal Mail.   And finally…  Twat Mail will replace Junk Mail, and it will be redirected to the money grabbing twat that sent it, moreover, their addresses will forwarded to Green Peace along with the amount of trees they’ve had cut down to produce their naff leaflets, magazines and books. 

Sane & sober signing off…

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 18th, 2009 at 1:57 am and is filed under Neils Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.