Despite having been made to go through several legal hoops, Graham is pleased about being the first man granted a free knobendoplasty under the NHS earlier today, Stoke Hospital.
What is wrong with the young women of today? Not content with pretending to ‘lez it up a bit’, in the clubs up and down the country, to gain attention, now they want to augment their fun-bags. Fifteen million of them, in this country alone said, they would have breast implants if they were free. Well, I’d have a knobendoplasty if it was buckshee but it doesn’t mean I should. But it’s funny how something that is advertised as ‘free’, on a website involving women, always seems to come at price. I watched a documentary last week, and felt I should pass on my findings…
So, how do you acquire a new set of ‘puppies’ without paying for them with your cash? Well I’ll tell you, you wait until two young Americans (hereby known as – the slugs) open a business called, ‘get a mug to pay for it.com’ . You join up, as do a lot of benefactors (hereby known as – the mugs. The ladies then befriend them, and place pictures of themselves, fully clothed, in their profile and then the cyber begging begins.
When the ‘bait’ realises they’ve only made thruppence in four months, they then start getting a little more adventurous with the photos in their profile. And it’s a this point that they realise, the more clothes they take off, the more money they make. So far, my research has bottomed out looking for a similar site for men, which is a shame really, as I think I could do with a new set of testicles. Three of my original five have worn out, but that’s what happens when you have children.
‘Doris’ one’, a blonde blue-eyed bint from London, was more than a little annoying in her attitude towards ripping off the general public. “Oooh I’m such a flirt I am,” she said, acting like a school girl. And really that’s all she had to say about herself. Silly cow, she had the brains of a duck and the morals of a weasel. And wait until you here what her partner had to say about the money-grabbing situation. “Well, I fink it’s great, I take all her photos me, and some with her mate too while their washin’ the car. It’s ‘ard to afford stuff I mean, she workin’, I’m workin’ and we gotta a the mortgage and everyfing.” [butcher’s back-slang] What a T-NUC!!! Actually, make that a pair.
Anyway, let’s take a look at a punter. He felt good about handing over his cash. “It’s a bit of a hobby,” he mumbled, making no eye contact with the camera, and covering part of his mouth. Well I wouldn’t call having 4,000 images on his p/c was a hobby, me thinks he’s probably visits the potting shed six times a day! And, bloody and, would you use your student loan to pay for this hobby? The words, much intercourse (slang) and idiot, sprang to mind. “I’m shy, but I can say things to these girls that I wouldn’t usually say to other women.” Really!
‘Doris’ two, was a tad more clued up bless ‘er, she’d only made ten bob after four years on this confidence-building site, because she wasn”t prepared to get her kit off at the behest of the pervy benefactors. “It’s nothing more than prostitution,” she said. One caring, sharing slug remarked, “We provide a great service, and our community are happy.” Slug two chipped in with, “It’s a great charity, and we don’t listen to people like that.” And here is why, I believe. The stats are thus: there are 5,000 breast-hunters on the site, and 50,000 benefactors. The site makes between five and $10,000 a day. Now – who do you feel the most sorry for? Who would you like to slap the most? And above all, who would you most like to give their money back too? Nuff said…
Just remember… People with stones shouldn’t live in a greenhouse.
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