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Wanna score some drugs mate?

 

It used to be an everyday task.  I had a repeat prescription and I’d sally forth to the Chemist with it, hand it over and 48 hrs later I’d pick up my medication.  So what went wrong?  Tech-bloody-knowledgy, that’s what – a new system. 

It’s not until you get a little older, you realise something that’s ‘new’ isn’t necessarily all it’s cracked up to be.  Some prepubescent computer geek comes up with an idea and they swear blind it’s fail-safe.  Four months down the line, when they’ve been paid for their botch and are no longer contactable, the whole system crashes.  Have you tried calling your surgery recently?

Oh it’s fine if you don’t mind listening to a recording and a list of options if you can afford the charge for waiting to get through to a human, only to be told there’s nobody available to help you.  Here’s my last attempt at trying to contact my surgery.  (Sound FX: Ring-ring, ring-ring, the surgery manger speaks.)

 “If you are having a heart attack please call 999.”  (How would you do that?) Next, a loud shrill female voice said, “Please hold the line we’re trying to connect you.”  Liar – they were sitting there with their feet up perusing Cosmo.  (One minute later)  A new voice said, “You are the first caller in the queue.”  Four minutes later she was still saying the same thing.  I’m British and of course I don’t like to cause a fuss, even if my liver has just exploded, but even I have a breaking point.  Minute five turned out to be less productive. 

Another voice said, “There’s no one available to take your call so please call back later,” and the phone went dead.  Bastards; had over by a tape recorder.  I’ve since discovered the quickest way contact my surgery is to hold a séance! 

When I finally spoke to a human lady, I explained that a full week had past and I still didn’t have the drugs that prevent me from having a PSYCHOTIC EPISODE!  “I’ll have a look on the screen,” she said, followed by, “No, it’s definitely with the chemist we issued it last week.” Great, now both sides were blaming each other.

“The new prescription system transfers them electronically from the surgery to the chemist now,” she informed me.  “Does it, does it really,” I said through gritted teeth.  Now in full irate flow I said  angrily, “Look love, this is the fourth time I’ve completely run out of vital medication.  I’ve used up my reserve supply and, bloody and, the small stash I’d given to my neighbour!  I don’t care if it is a new system a brewer’s dray could do it quicker.” 

Picked up my drugs the very next day!!!

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